goldsworthy shadow

(no subject)

maybe its cause i graduated yesterday
maybe its because i didnt sleep last night
maybe its the holes in my brain, the caffiene or the adderall, or cause i'm leaving in 3 weeks, or cause i'm madly in love

i dont know exactly why, but life is just so.... surreal... right now i guess is the word. i just can't really put my finger on it.

am i excited? am i depressed? am i nervous? scared? anxious?

maybe i am just now realizing that this is my life that i'm living, and not some game where i'm safe and sheltered and can always return to my room in my parents house after a bad night.. or a good night.
  • Current Mood
    drunk hazed and dazed
goldsworthy shadow

(no subject)

donnes me de quoi tenir tenir
je ne veux pas dormir dormir

pourqoui pourquoi meme quand les gens s'aiment
il y a, il y a, toujours des problèmes?

i hella can't sleep
and i'm feeling anxious and sad
because i'm going away in 36 days
i'm graduating in 2 weeks
david leaves in less than a month
this part of my life is coming to an end WAY too quickly
  • Current Music
    dj tiesto
goldsworthy shadow

(no subject)

la vie est merveilleuse
although i do wish i'd gotten laid tonight
l'oh bien, c'est la vie...

i really think i need to work on eliminating all my desires in order to truly eliminate all my suffering

i also need to start going to bed earlier
  • Current Music
    la vie - manu chao
goldsworthy shadow

(no subject)

my fortune cookie yesterday told me:
People who expect nothing are never disappointed
and i think that is a really important thing for me to keep in mind
because recently i've been experiencing so many angry and bummed out feelings that have stemmed from my high hopes and great expectations failing to be met.
so thank you, fortune cookie, you hit that one right on the nose.
  • Current Music
    Turnstyle Blues - Autolux
goldsworthy shadow

(no subject)

so i had a pb&j sandwich for breakfast this morning
which got me thinking... you know, life is alot like a pb&j

sometimes you get too much peanut butter, not the sweet kind of peanut butter with the honey in it though, i'm talking about the sticky nasty kind that makes you feel kinda queezy and gets all stuck to the sides of your mouth and won't go away.

sometimes you get so much jelly that you're like in ecstacy at how sweet and awesome this pb&j sandwich/life is.

but usually you just get a mixture of both that's somewhere in between.

my sandwich this morning had too much fucking peanut butter man. and i had to stop halfway through and only eat the piece of bread with jelly on it. but i think my life, even though i'm like totally manic sometimes/usually, has so much jelly in it that i really got nothin to bitch about.

and i also think i took too much fucking cold medicine/my mind is on food cause i haven't eaten much for the last week due to my throat being swollen shut.

anyway.. those are my two cents, i'm going back to bed.
  • Current Music
    windows open, dog barking far away
goldsworthy shadow

(no subject)

today i watched a baseball game with my favorite people in the world while slurpee dumb faded and got a free hat but we lost but oh well.
cause i had a good time getting rowdy and drinking free beer and heckling the players.
had some post-game fun in the sun with more of my favorites and blazed one up in the wilderness and laughed big laughs from my stomach.
now im chilling with a slight twinge of stress and anxiety cause i feel like i have too much to do in a small amount of time.
but oh well, cause what's the point of ever feeling bad?
  • Current Music
    cop shoot cop-spiritualized
goldsworthy shadow

(no subject)

sunny afternoons laying in the grass
my first real tan line of the year
wearing my bathing suit outside at 7 pm and i wasn't even cold
a gin and tonic and a bowl out of peace pipe
stogies with my best friend

sleeping under the stars and being in love
i have bugbites all over my back and my ass but i'm happy
falling asleep together

man i'm going to miss all this
  • Current Mood
    complacent sooooooo happy